Billy

Billy is the first full piece I created utilizing a technique called “Sanded Charcoal.” This is the same technique used in all of the drawings in this body of work. I have utilized a number of skulls in my drawings; often a symbol of death, I prefer to see—and employ—these skulls as symbols of protection. The real Billy has been mounted on my wall for years. It was a gift from a rancher I’d met, who found it on his property down in Gilroy. Billy died of natural causes, and I hoped to find a way to honor this life. 

 

When I set out to define a subject and a composition for my first Sanded Charcoal drawing, I wanted to work with a form that I intimately cared for, as I knew the process is a long and arduous one. I also knew that I wanted to work on something larger than I had before because I wanted to feel the empowerment from working at a large scale, versus something small, precious, and quiet. I also wanted to try capture some emotion of empathy. I’d found a reference to try to emulate: In 1968 John Loengard captured a number of black-and-white photographs of Georgia O’Keeffe at her home, and some included her collection of skulls. One of the photos is of her white cow skull with horns on an adobe wall, carefully guarding over some bones and relics. This skull doesn’t feel like it is there for decoration, but for loving protection. Just like my Billy.  

 

As I look back over this body of work that I have created I see that I have learned so much since I drew Billy in 2021. I spent more than 100 hours working on Billy, and when I drew Billy for the second time in Noir, I spent over 100 hours on the drawing, but only 16 hours on an even larger view of Billy. It might look like this is merely a drawing of a cow skull, but to me it is much more, and it is just the beginning.