Cream

2023, Charcoal and Pastel on Paper

36 x 54 inches 

Cream is a visual metaphor for the transition from innocence to maturity as a woman. The goat skull serves as a symbol of both a wound as well as a weapon that needed for self protection: this young woman does not yet know from what she will need to be protected, or how to protect herself. She is naive, scared, and not yet a warrior; she didn’t know she would ever need to be one. She carries this skull knowing that somehow it is important to her survival. She is in a state of pause and detachment as she searches for her authentic way to move forward beyond her youth towards herself. 

When I was 14 years old, I first started learning how to use a camera. Along with learning how to use a new tool comes looking for inspiration for things to create with that tool. I remember finding a copy of Richard Avedon’s book Evidence 1944–1994 at the Santa Clara Library, and finding within it a great many treasures which have continued to inspire me for years. Dovima with Elephants was a fast favorite, but Richard Avedon’s candid portrait of Marilyn Monroe—looking away, dissociated—showed a side of emotion and authenticity never captured in the public narrative of her persona. This photograph gave viewers a glimpse of true, un-beautiful emotion, and inspired my own journey to capture true—sometimes un-beautiful—emotion. Cream provided a rare opportunity capture and create this feeling of a glimpse behind the emotions we outwardly share, while also paying tribute to a life-long inspiration.